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AntiAntiJokes

r/AntiAntiJokes

18
Posted by5 hours ago

外围体育投注are you there?' the baker queried. But to no avail. He died long ago from ligma."


外围体育投注The patron of the bar raises an eyebrow. "Okay, but where does the baker come in?"


外围体育投注The bartender responds in kind. "Ligma balls."

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2
Posted by4 hours ago

外围体育投注The sandwich responds "Sorry, we don't serve the duck."


外围体育投注The man tilts his head in confusion, before noticing the laugh track in the background, his eyes widening. He was in a painstakingly not-funny sitcom.


外围体育投注"Why the long face?" the sandwich asks in a worried tone.


外围体育投注The giraffe then screams and runs out of the set, flying like an eagle, laugh track following closely behind.

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1
Posted by3 hours ago

"I don't know," the clown, who was eating a cannibal, responded. "How do外围体育投注 you make a handkerchief dance?"


外围体育投注"Magic, bitch," the wall, who ran into two fish, responded. "Magic."


One of the fish, still pondering the wall incident, stayed silent during the exchange, while the other blurted out "DAMN!"


The bartender, the only sane one in this exchange, raised an eyebrow. "Am I the only one weirded out by the collusion of dad jokes here?"


The trucker, holding a slab of asphalt, responded matter-of-factly, "I'm weirded out by the whole thing too, believe me-- oh, right. Time for me to hit the road." He then pulled his pants down.

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promotedPosted by1 month ago
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147
Posted by1 day ago

Your mom.

147
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Crossposted by1 day ago
Posted by2 days ago
OC
64 points
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1
Posted by23 hours ago

Aragorn kneels in front of Frodo and says: "You have my sword…"
Legolas follows Aragorn's initiative and says to Frodo: "…and you have m-.."
Gimli abruptly cuts Legolas off, saying: "..and my axe!"

Legolas looks scornfully at Gimli for a few seconds before he comments:
"Excuse me? Do you have attention deficit disorder? Take it easy there, you insolent dwarf, you. Wait for your turn, maybe?"

Gimli widens his eyes and replies to Legolas: "What did you just say to me!? FUCK your bow and FUCK you, you androgynous soyelf! I'll speak my line of dialogue whenever I feel like it!"

Legolas retorts in anger: "Fuck my bow?! Fuck your AXE and fuck YOU, you 3 foot, cancerous little boil, you!"

外围体育投注"Ooooh! You putrid, effeminate cockhound! Someone hold me back! Hold me back before I split his wig!" Gimli yells before he lunges at Legolas.

外围体育投注Aragorn catches Gimli before he reaches Legolas and pulls him back. The rest of the characters that are present intervene as well and help distance Legolas and Gimli from eachother.

Aragorn yells in frustration as he holds onto Gimli: "Damnit, boys! Now is not the time! Save it for when our quest is over, you hear!?" They all manage to calm down eventually and at a later instance during their quest, they try to track down the hobbits and the orcs that abducted them.

外围体育投注Aragorn asks Legolas: "Legolas, what does your elf eyes see?"

Legolas scans the horizon for a moment and replies: "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!"

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3
Posted by2 days ago

The bar says... no wait I did it wrong. Okay. A walkman bars in. GOD DAMMIT! Ok. I can do this. Just breathe... A man walks into a bar. The bartender says we don't serve food here. SHIT! I FORGOT THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF THE JOKE. CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT? That's it, I'm done. I can't stand this bullshit anymore! We regret to inform you that this joke ended with the teller committing suicide. He was succeeded by his 23-year-old son James. For years he struggled with alcoholism, drinking to try and forget. Eventually he came to terms with his father's death and followed in his footsteps, becoming a well-loved comedian. Until one fateful day, he stumbled over a joke. Everything came crashing down around him. He fled the stage and ran until he was standing outside his old watering hole. He was stronger than this. He knew better than this... the man walks into a bar.

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About Community

reddit's home for absurd humor **What *is* an AntiAntiJoke??** Well.... * Jokes have funny punchlines. * AntiJokes have mundane, run-of-the-mill punchlines. * AntiAntiJokes have absurd, ridiculous, non-sensical punchlines. Here's an example: > **Q**: A man walks into a bar... > **AntiAntiJoke**: The floor of the bar collapses because it is made of *construction* paper. The man falls into the alligator pit below, where he befriends the alligators and lives happily ever after.
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Created Nov 13, 2012

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