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Ask Feminists!

r/AskFeminists

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Posted by
Clueless
6 hours ago

We are always learning about war weapons that caused death and destruction, but schools omit one of the most vile ones that doesn't destroy buildings or kills people-sexual assault.

He then proceeded to make a statement that got me thinking:

"I've had girls who became squeamish at just the mention of it, but I really would like to make my classes understand the severity of rape as a war weapon. I've shown people pictures of battlefields and concentration camps, no problem, but I got into trouble with the faculty for showing ONE picture of a spreadeagled German woman with her belly ripped open and blood all over her lady-parts after being assaulted by a Russian soldier.

外围体育投注I believe that schools should teach students that this weapon of war was perhaps worse than guns or swords, because the victims were innocent women."

外围体育投注Do you agree with my history teacher? Do you believe that the role of sexual violence as a weapon of war should be taught in middle/high schools? I believe they should, but I'm a man, rather a boy, who wants to know the perspective of women advocating for women's rights, cause I'm in a boy-majority class with mostly male teachers.

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Posted by23 hours ago

My niece recently brought to my attention the advertising on the walls in a large sporting goods chain store. EVERY SINGLE picture of woman/girls was simply standing or sitting in a cool poise, while wearing sporty clothes. All the men/boys picture were action shots of swinging a bat or shooting a basketball. I never noticed this before, but it makes it seem the girl advertising was more focused on looking good, rather than playing sports. Now, my niece pointed this out and sure enough when I went there, I noticed it too (I have some pictures, but apparently you can't post pictures to this site). I am going to write a letter to the company complaining about this, but why do we still struggle with issues like this in today's world? It sends the wrong message to young girls that it is all about looking good for someone, rather than the joy of sports and exercising.

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Posted by5 hours ago

外围体育投注I have heard many people say "i don't like to use they/them pronouns, because it feels wrong to refer to a single person as they". I don't understand this because there are many areas in which they/them pronouns would help against stereotypes.

外围体育投注Many people for example always say "he" when they watch a video of 2 people playing a video game match, because they assume that the people must be men . There are many areas, where people just use he/him as standard pronouns, if they don't know what gender the person is. For example if they watch videos with car accidents, generally if the person can't be clearly identified as male or female, they always refer to them as "he". I also experienced it a few times that when i tell someone that i talked to my doctor to get my test results, they often ask "what did he say?" as if all doctors are men.

外围体育投注The only times i have seen people using "she/her" as standard pronouns, is when they talk about people in stereotypical jobs for women, even though they weren't told if the person was actually a woman or in kink communities they often refer to the submissive as "she", which i also dislike.

外围体育投注The problem is that if i ask (not in a rude way) people why they assumed that for example the doctor is a "he", they get really defensive and say stuff like "you always have to over-analyze everything i say".

Do you think it is good to question people who use gendered pronouns for specific groups of people without knowing the actual gender of the person? Should we use they/them if we don't know what gender the person, we are talking about has?

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Posted by4 hours ago
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Posted by10 hours ago

Hi -

外围体育投注I’m brand new to this group and hoping to get some guidance. My apologies if this topic was covered in an earlier thread.

外围体育投注I really want to pursue a PhD. When I was contemplating this decision with my mom, she asked, "where do kids fit in?" A few weeks later, I conveyed my decision a little more seriously and she said, "I know you didn't ask for my opinion, but I'm going to give it. I don't think you should pursue a PhD. You can always go back after you have kids."

A few days later, I explained to my mom how hurt I was about my parents lack of support for my career. She told me she's not going to hold back and tell me what I want to hear. She's going to give me her opinion. She told me "you can't get these years back." When I asked for clarification, she meant child bearing years.

My parents consistently ask me about my fiancé’s job and what he wants to do. We don't talk a lot about MY job.

My mom is a stay at home mom. She only ever worked part time and that was when we went to college.

It's clear that my parents belief is that men are the primary breadwinners and women need to prioritize having a family.

I can't help but wonder how they would react to me going on for a PhD if I were a male. I think they would be proud.

I’m in the middle of wedding planning and I’ve been thinking a lot about topics that men talk about vs topics that women talk about. It seems people talk to my fiancé about his career and talk to me about wedding planning. I hate talking about that stuff and would much rather join the conversation with the men.

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Posted by18 hours ago

I see a lot of people on this subreddit claim that all men should identify as feminists; why?

外围体育投注I'm a man, and I am genuinely sympathetic towards feminism. However, feminism and misogyny in Canada isn't something I think about very often. At the end of the day, I get to walk around as a man, so sometimes it's hard to see misogyny on a regular basis. I understand that misogyny still exists in Canada, and we still have some work to do before we have solved it, but why should someone who isn't an activist for feminism or really think about misogyny label themselves as a feminist?

外围体育投注I see it like this: people suffer from horrible injustices everyday around the world. While I am sympathetic towards the cause, I can't call myself an activist for those injustices because I'm not actively doing something to stop said injustice.

外围体育投注Nobody can be an activist for every injustice in the world, we each have to see what we value most and work towards helping to solve those injustices.

Am I wrong here? Is it anti-feminist or woman hating to not identify as a feminist under my thought process?

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This is a place to ask feminists your questions and to discuss the issues with feminists. If you've wondered what most feminists think about certain things, what our response is to certain issues, how we think certain things should be handled, or why we have adopted the positions and stands that we have, this is your place to get your questions answered! Or if you have feedback or ideas and would like a feminist response to your thoughts, this is a place to have that discussion.
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